Finger pointing at the moon.

As a psychodynamic counsellor, I feel something of a dilemma. What can I say about what therapy is about; or what it might be like for any of my clients? People may be looking for reassurance or some idea of what it might entail. That seems fair enough, but in practice not so easy. Therapy is such an individual thing; and what is important is how each individual experiences it; and what they can learn from that experience.

There are many therapeutic approaches but the psychodynamic approach involves helping the client feel comfortable and safe enough to talk about whatever is bothering them. It also presumes that people are not necessarily aware of what is underlying how they feel.

This means that I cannot say ahead of time exactly what it will be like. Individual therapy involves two people, both therapist and client, and their interactions through therapy. It's not a taught course, written ahead of time, but authentic interaction between two people. It unfolds in real time. That's part of what makes it therapy.

 

Given this, counselling may feel like a step into the unknown. It may understandably feel scary. Making it feel safe enough for the client is therefore very important. It can be a challenging process but also it can be very rewarding and satisfying when changes do take place.

 

I can't therefore specify exactly what therapy might be like, but I can hopefully indicate something of what it is. This seems to me a bit like the idea of a finger pointing at the moon. You don't look at the tip of the finger, but at the direction in which it's pointing. It's a way of doing things, but exactly how you get there is something to be discovered as you go along the way, with the support and encouragement of the therapist - an excursion into new territory from a safe place.

 

Lin Travis Counselling Services

Jungian approach to therapy - becoming more yourself

When you come for therapy you may not notice or be aware of the theoretical orientation of your therapist. They don't always say much anyway, do they? Does it make any difference what approach they say they use?

I would like to say that it can make a difference. I was reminded the other day, how much value I put on the approach that I use, by seeing it in contrast to other ways of working. In any approach, there are basic assumptions and they inform the perspective and the way we work. I use a psychodynamic approach, that is influenced a fair amount by Jungian concepts and ideas.

For me, the Jungian element gives depth and breadth to therapy. In this perspective, the unconscious is seen to contain not just a collection of repressed thoughts, feelings and memories. It is that, but so much more than that also. It is the source of the 'darker' side of our nature but at the same time, (or perhaps because of this), it contains our creativity and spiritual sides too.

People may often come for help and want to be told what to do. They may be unaware of the resources they already possess. The Jungian approach assumes that these resources are there - perhaps just a bit hard to find. Making this assumption, it is possible to work in a way that encourages people to learn to trust their own abilities. It's empowering and it's hopeful without being 'Pollyannaish'.

It also contains a sense of balance. We may be aware of certain aspects of our personalities but less aware of other parts of ourselves. Discovering that there is more to us than we previously supposed can be challenging but rewarding and enriching. We can feel more 'whole' or that we have come home in some sense, discovering things about us that we weren't aware of before and yet we've always known.

Of course not everyone wants to use the same approach. What may suit one person may not suit another. However finding one you feel comfortable with can make a difference. This is something of what works for me.

Lin Travis Counselling Services

From badgers to couples counselling - blaming or working together.

Reading again today about badger culls and TB, it made me think again about blame versus responsibility. If there's a problem, there will be some people who find the easiest way out is to point the finger, saying 'It's their fault, nothing to do with me.' In this case, the 'solution' proposed by some has been a badger cull.

It seems a simple solution, but life is often more complex than that though isn't it? In this example, there are badgers with TB; and there are cows with TB. Killing some badgers seems to me unlikely to 'solve' the problem. However as long as the 'culprit' is out there, a perception of 'them' and not 'us', then this type of tactic is likely to be proposed. 

Surely it makes more sense to say that there is a problem and ask what we can do co-operatively to find the best way forward? I'm using the badger issue as an example, as I think it shows just how easily we tend to take sides and to blame and perhaps even to want to punish.

Even to talk about 'solutions' as such can be unhelpful sometimes when dealing with complex situations. Sometimes we have to work on what might be good enough; and manage risk; and find the best way forward. It all sounds very woolly, doesn't it? Dealing with uncertainty can feel like that sometimes but is probably much more realistic. Life can be very uncertain and unpredictable; and there may not be obvious 'solutions' to all our problems. Does this mean that we have to pretend that we have all the answers, or that we can allow ourselves to be uncertain at times?

Uncertainty allows a space for more open-minded exploration and may be more likely to find a productive way forward - much more likely than easy answers that may be ill-considered. Blaming can leave us feeling angry, empty and powerless. Thinking about co-operative ways forward opens the door for a broader view and more creative ideas.

This more open-minded, co-operative way of looking at difficult issues can be applied to badgers; to politics; and also to ordinary individuals trying to relate to each other. For two people, (for instance in couples counselling), to say 'we have a problem that we would like to work on together' is very different to saying 'I think it's his fault!'

The open-minded co-operative approach immediately allows a space to think about what's going on. Without blaming, we can feel comfortable enough to do this, even if it's not easy. This can be really helpful in couples counselling. It may seem like we've come a long way from badgers here, but the same basic processes are involved.  This is about how we relate as human beings whether to other creatures; to other people generally; or in our closest associations with our loved ones.

In fact the closer we get to others, the harder it can get. We can feel more defensive; and when we feel more defensive, we attack more and blame more. However in choosing not to take 'blaming' as the default position, we can take a step back and think about working co-operatively with others. We can work together on the problem and we are no longer alone.

Lin Travis Counselling Services