Finger pointing at the moon.

As a psychodynamic counsellor, I feel something of a dilemma. What can I say about what therapy is about; or what it might be like for any of my clients? People may be looking for reassurance or some idea of what it might entail. That seems fair enough, but in practice not so easy. Therapy is such an individual thing; and what is important is how each individual experiences it; and what they can learn from that experience.

There are many therapeutic approaches but the psychodynamic approach involves helping the client feel comfortable and safe enough to talk about whatever is bothering them. It also presumes that people are not necessarily aware of what is underlying how they feel.

This means that I cannot say ahead of time exactly what it will be like. Individual therapy involves two people, both therapist and client, and their interactions through therapy. It's not a taught course, written ahead of time, but authentic interaction between two people. It unfolds in real time. That's part of what makes it therapy.

 

Given this, counselling may feel like a step into the unknown. It may understandably feel scary. Making it feel safe enough for the client is therefore very important. It can be a challenging process but also it can be very rewarding and satisfying when changes do take place.

 

I can't therefore specify exactly what therapy might be like, but I can hopefully indicate something of what it is. This seems to me a bit like the idea of a finger pointing at the moon. You don't look at the tip of the finger, but at the direction in which it's pointing. It's a way of doing things, but exactly how you get there is something to be discovered as you go along the way, with the support and encouragement of the therapist - an excursion into new territory from a safe place.

 

Lin Travis Counselling Services

Chuang Tzu and Kafka - actionless action and the authentic life.

I was pleased to discover today that it is indeed as I suspected that Kafka had read the writings of Chuang Tzu. I love the writings of both of these guys. If  you like Kafka and haven't come across Chuang Tzu, he's definitely worth investigating. The writings are from around 300 BC but sound so fresh and full of life - a collection of short tales / writings, entertaining, both humorous and serious - stuff to make you think and challenge your perspective and ideas about life and what's important. (There are various translations and some you may take to more than others.)

The writings of Chuang Tzu writing contain a broad variety of ideas including challenges to the way we view and judge ourselves and others. For example, several stories illustrate his views on disability which seem forward thinking even today over two thousand years after they were written.

 

In recent times, Kafka and the existentialist writers such as Sartre and Camus have used stories to illustrate their ideas of what it might be to think about an authentic life. This seems to me very much in tune with the ideas of Chuang Tzu. His 'actionless action' (wu wei) certainly seems to include ideas of authenticity, though it also seems to say more than this too.

 

Being in tune both with the whole of ourselves as well as the world around us, in how we are and how we express ourselves, may be something of what this actionless action is about. (That's just my crude attempt at trying to say something about it.) It is also about being part of the natural world as opposed to an authoritarian culture.

 

It also strikes me that all these guys used stories or vignettes to illustrate what is hard to say in words. Metaphor or story telling can be a better way to describe things that are hard to get hold of otherwise. Easier to get a picture in your mind of what it is about.

 

Interested to hear other people's thoughts on this.

 

Lin Travis Counselling Services



A space for reflection

This post is about places that may help us feel good. For me, there are certain places where I feel a sense of calm and wellbeing - special places.

My usual photo here is an example of one of my favourite places, where I feel this sense of wellbeing - a great place to walk around; to sit and read for a while; to feel a connection with the natural world; to reflect...

This place is in a busy city and perhaps those who live in such a place may feel more need than others for a green tranquil space - however small. However, maybe we all have a need of a space of some kind to reflect on things.

This is a different location but also on the edge of a busy city. The wonderful scent of the azaleas at this time of year adds another dimension to a very visual scene. A great environment to practise mindfulness.

These are two very concrete examples of a space for reflection. We may not need a physical environment like this in order to be reflective, but certainly it can encourage that more relaxed and creative state of mind.

Do you have examples of special places you visit that help you get in touch with a more relaxed and meditative state of mind? I would be really interested in hearing about other people's examples.

 

Lin Travis Counselling Services 

If you love me, you should know what I'm thinking...shouldn't you?

It can feel very reassuring when our partners 'get' us. We can feel understood and perhaps closer in our relationships. But how far do we want this to go? Should we even need to say what's on our mind? Shouldn't they already know...if they love us?

Firstly, I don't think it's possible to always know what is in someone else's mind, however much you may care about them and would like to think you understand them well. After all, simply the fact is that you're not them! That's not to say, we can't understand each other better,  but that's different to expecting others to always know what we're thinking, where we're coming from. Inevitably there are going to be times when we get it wrong. Actually asking them what they think, how they feel, not presuming we already know, can be far more helpful. It also shows our interest in them.

Secondly, would we really want to know what others are thinking without having to ask them? We would be in their heads, not our own. We need our sense of separateness as human beings, our own individuality, as well as our sense of connection with others. To be human is to want to express ourselves as individuals; and to feel connected to others. There's often a tension between the two, but they are both important aspects of ourselves as human beings in the world.

Doesn't that make life more interesting though? Imagine if you always knew what others were thinking? There would be no surprises - a bit of a conversation killer. Would any of us want a partner who thought exactly the same thoughts as we think? Difference can be good - interesting and stimulating.

Lin Travis Counselling Services

The Freud / Jung Letters - a window into the worlds of two great innovators.

I'm in the middle of reading The Freud / Jung Letters; and  I'm finding it fascinating. It's the personal correspondence between Freud and Jung starting in 1906 and going on for around seven years until their final break with each other - over 300 letters!

Looking back from 2013, it strikes me that we now live in a such different world from theirs. Things have moved on. Yet would we be where we are now without them?

Both men were pioneers - innovative thinkers exploring new territory. As they clarified their ideas, their differences came more to the fore; and ultimately they found no way to reconcile them with each other. However despite this, (or maybe because of it), they have both contributed a great deal to our understanding of the human psyche.

Reading their letters, you can see how their ideas develop and crystallise, as they explain themselves to each other. Interesting stuff!..

 

Freud also met Salador Dali. I'd love to have been a fly on the wall at that meeting...

 

Lin Travis Counselling Services

New Year resolutions and making changes

Even if you don't call it a New Year resolution, this is a time of year when many of us think about making a fresh start or at least trying to do things differently to in the past. Then all too often, we end up back in the same old habits as usual, stuck in the same old ways. It can seem like it should be easy enough to make changes but somehow it doesn't always work out like that. Seemingly small things can get in the way. It can be disheartening when this happens.

Counselling may be helpful in exploring what is going on, and perhaps uncovering underlying issues that prevent us from making the changes that we feel would be good for us. If making changes seems worthwhile, then giving yourself the best chance of achieving your goal seems to make sense. Perhaps there are obstacles that need clearing out of the way.

Yet some people may be afraid of failure and think that if they don't really try, then they can't really fail.  This can stop any attempt at change from getting off the ground. On the other hand, others may appear to sabotage themselves in a way that suggests they are more afraid of success. Unravelling these processes, whether conscious or unconscious, may give some clarity and help with seeing a way forward...

January is named after the god Janus who had two faces - one looking back to the past year and one looking forward to the year ahead. We may review the past year and make plans for the coming one - hence the New Year resolutions. Nothing wrong with that, but how much time do we spend then focusing just in the present moment? The past and the future may have an influence on how we live our lives, but we live them in each present moment - ultimately the present is the only place we can really be.

Lin Travis Counselling Services

Jungian approach to therapy - becoming more yourself

When you come for therapy you may not notice or be aware of the theoretical orientation of your therapist. They don't always say much anyway, do they? Does it make any difference what approach they say they use?

I would like to say that it can make a difference. I was reminded the other day, how much value I put on the approach that I use, by seeing it in contrast to other ways of working. In any approach, there are basic assumptions and they inform the perspective and the way we work. I use a psychodynamic approach, that is influenced a fair amount by Jungian concepts and ideas.

For me, the Jungian element gives depth and breadth to therapy. In this perspective, the unconscious is seen to contain not just a collection of repressed thoughts, feelings and memories. It is that, but so much more than that also. It is the source of the 'darker' side of our nature but at the same time, (or perhaps because of this), it contains our creativity and spiritual sides too.

People may often come for help and want to be told what to do. They may be unaware of the resources they already possess. The Jungian approach assumes that these resources are there - perhaps just a bit hard to find. Making this assumption, it is possible to work in a way that encourages people to learn to trust their own abilities. It's empowering and it's hopeful without being 'Pollyannaish'.

It also contains a sense of balance. We may be aware of certain aspects of our personalities but less aware of other parts of ourselves. Discovering that there is more to us than we previously supposed can be challenging but rewarding and enriching. We can feel more 'whole' or that we have come home in some sense, discovering things about us that we weren't aware of before and yet we've always known.

Of course not everyone wants to use the same approach. What may suit one person may not suit another. However finding one you feel comfortable with can make a difference. This is something of what works for me.

Lin Travis Counselling Services